This day bears a scar.
An inimitable scar.
It manifests the pattern of the scar mutilating our hearts.
This sullied day signifies nothing else.
It does not bring sympathy, relief, or an antidote.
It only brings forth a humble reminder.
It does not intend to lure an inapprehensive life.
Only the beholders of the scar distinguish this day.
This day brings no cleansing rains or empathizing shadows upon the earth.
It only encumbers us with intrusive light,
Revealing what we do not wish to see.
This relentless day gives us a taste of eternity.
It is able to stand still, unwavering before our eyes.
It erases our seemingly infallible picture of time,
And causes our credulous minds to believe we will forever dwell in November.
This day is greater than us.
It is more omniscient than any day we have seen pass.
For it gave us the deepest scar that has ever blemished our hearts.
This day will loosen its insisting grasp once it sees its desired efficacious gloom in our eyes.
But this day will never cease to return.
kendall elbert, aug 10, 2009
5 comments:
Sweet Kendall, you somehow spoke the words that gnawed at my heart all day, every Monday since that November day that remains so vivid, replaying over and over in silent, drab waltz-like aching, empty waves. You and your cousins are a life-jacket for me who bobs and bounces on those waves grasping for a calmer shore. Thank you for sharing your feelings, and helping all of us hold close as we grow on together. xoxox Meme xoxox
Kendall, I loved reading your poem. I loved reading your thoughts and knowing exactly what you are feeling! I can't wait to read more from you! love you, kara
Kendall, i am so proud of you and love you with all my heart. thank you for sharing this with us.
XOXOmommaXOXO
. . . and this day returns monthly, exactly with a surgeon's precision on the anniversary of our deepest pain. It returns without regret, without apology. It simply returns.
I awake thinking "one year ago, we were doing this.... or one year ago we went here.....or one year ago............ one year ago. . .
That "one year ago" that has been looming in the future is now with us. What does it mean, this giant impasse holding such a tight deadlock on my mind? I have counted the days since you were horribly killed my precious one, just as I have always counted the joys you gave me, the love we shared.
I awake this morning numb as if half of me has died, and indeed it is so. That is the horror that now walks with me in this half-alive state of mind.
You were always holding me up, loving me back into life whenever I fell into fear.
As I awake this morning, I reach out to you through a sheer yet impenetrable separation that only our love can survive. Our love was not killed one year ago today; our love burns brightly beyond all earthly bounds and will never be extinquished.
As I awake this morning, I think of how I loved you one year ago today, realizing that I love you even more this morning than ever before. Always yours, Sandy
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